


Tay Jardine, Please Kill Me.

by DriftDive



Category: All Time Low, We Are the In Crowd
Genre: But it's a taylex!!! Yay!!!, F/M, Seriously don't read if you're triggered by the discussion of methods of suicide, Seriously this is so depressing, Suicide, fair warning okay, taylex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3740107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DriftDive/pseuds/DriftDive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never wanted it. He never wanted Jenna, not really. He had Tay, and Tay was perfection incarnate. Why'd he do it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tay Jardine, Please Kill Me.

Alex's eyes are trained on the horizon, watching the sun sink behind the city skyline. He's sitting by the railroad tracks, something he told himself he wouldn't do, no matter how bad shit got. He's not moving, just staring. His mind is working slowly, lazily. Maybe he took a few pills, sleeping pills, he thinks. Just in case he chickens out, which he's good at.

At that thought, he lets out a lazy yawn. He's good at chickening out, most definitely.

As the sun slides behind the lowest point on the horizon, Alex can't help but notice how pretty the pre-dusk, post-sunset sky looks. Its so pretty. Its so pretty, Tay's so pretty-

Alex shakes his tired head. She wasn't pretty, she was drop dead gorgeous. She was beautiful and Alex is a fucking idiot. He's a stupid fucking idiot sitting beside train tracks, his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with each passing minute.

He's done stupider shit, he thinks-no. He knows. He's done stupider shit. By that, he means getting involved with Jenna.

He never wanted it. He never wanted Jenna, not really. He had Tay, and Tay was perfection incarnate. Why'd he do it?

Watching the stars come out, he's digging around his foggy mind for an answer. Jenna. Why was he interested in Jenna?

Right, he was drunk. He was drunk, and then when he was sober it was just a thing he kept going because... why?

Alex can't help but yawn again. He feels exhausted.

Sex. That's right, he wanted sex. He's a horny 17 year old, and Jenna wanted sex too. Tay wanted to wait until she was married, which Alex still thinks is ridiculous.

Tay found out, though. She found out, and she was pissed. Alex doesn't even remember what she said, he's too sleepy. He remembers though that it ended with Tay crying, and he thinks they've broken up, but he could be wrong.

Alex rubs his eyes. He's crying, apparently.

Oh, he regrets it. He regrets every single time he was with Jenna. He resents it. All of it.

He just wants Tay back, but he's hurt her. He's broken her trust, and he's a fucking fool for doing that. Another yawn escapes Alex's mouth.

Maybe it's time to lay down.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. He has the train times in his fist, but when he tries to read it, it's too hard. It's dark, and it's cold, and Alex's vision is awful right now.

Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, he tosses the train times over his shoulder. He looks up. The stars are shining now, although it's difficult to see with all the light pollution.

He lays back, just staring. It's so pretty, so peaceful.

Like Tay.

He sighs, bringing his fingernails up to his mouth. It feels like it takes ten times more effort than usual, but it's a nervous habit.

He's fucked. He's fucked everything up. He and Tay, he's fucked it up. He's broken Tay. He's broken whatever trust she had for men. For a relationship.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he wipes his eyes again and reaches into his pocket to get his phone. The bright light of the screen burns his eyes, but he manages to dial Tay's number somehow.

He yawns again. He's so fucking tired.

'Just after I apologize,' he tells himself, 'I'll sleep. Sleep. Sleep...' He drags the word out in his mind, barely hearing Tay's voice when she answers the phone.

Alex yawns.

“Hey, Hey. Hey, Tay... Tay, I just- Fuck, I love you,” He sighs, and he hears Tay reply. Something along the lines of 'fuck off, you're drunk.'

He cracks a smile.

“Drunk? No, Tay, I don't do that shit anymore. I don't- Fuck. Fuck alcohol, you're the only drug I need,” Alex says, but it sounds slurred to his own ears.

“Let me just- I took some stuff, 'cause, 'cause I fucked it up, fucked us up, fucked you up.”

Alex can hear her ask, “What? What did you take?”

“Pills,” Alex replies, then yawns.

“I took 'em, cause I was afraid I was gonna chicken out. Cause the train, it's not- train's iffy, and stuff. Train's like... comes at a certain time. Can't read the times.”

Tay sounds like she's panicking now. He doesn't hear what she asks.

“I'm really tired, Tay. I'll just- I'm gonna nap. I'm gonna take a nice, long nap. Then me and you, me and you, we'll... I'm gonna make this up to you. I think. I think I am right now, 'cause you said...”

A flash of the argument comes back to Alex, and he frowns.

“Y'said you want me dead, or something, and like... a nap is kinda like death, oh-”

He gets an idea.

“When I wake up, I'll get myself over to those train tracks. Don't worry.”

Alex thinks Tay might be crying, but she might be laughing, too.

“I'll make this right- I'll make this good, don't-don't worry. Soon as I get up, I'll be out of your life. Promise. I just- fuck, I love you. I'm dumb. I'm...”

He yawns.

“I gotta go, I'm about to pass out,” He says. He thinks Tay is saying something, but she sounds like she's underwater.

“See you, love you,” He says, and then he drops the phone. He allows himself to stare up at the sky, at the stars, until his eyelids are just too heavy to hold up.

He falls asleep rather quickly, and his last breath leaves him just as fast.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I only write sad things.
> 
> The title comes from the song 'Caroline, Please Kill Me' by Coma Cinema. I didn't really have a title in mind when I wrote this considering it's a thing, so forgive me if it doesn't really fit.  
> (I didn't proofread this either forgive any mistakes or awkward wording thanks)  
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
